i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
