and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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