Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just found puke in my bra..
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
