I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think pants incapable of making pants work
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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