he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
