It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
