i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
