In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize
