I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
