idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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