My first STD was from a foam party
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
