dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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