I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
