what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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