i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
