it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
