okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
