At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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