I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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