the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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