69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
