I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
