she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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