sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
