dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
