His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
