We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
