I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
