Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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