i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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