I'm sorry my penis didn't work
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
