Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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