dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize