i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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