Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
