What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
