I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
