It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
