just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
