I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
