i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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