i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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