just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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