i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
