Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
