Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
