Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
