p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
