i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
