we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
