i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
